Am I Wasting Time? by Tina Yeager

Am I Wasting Time?

by Tina Yeager

“We praise you, God, we praise you, for your Name is near; people tell of your wonderful deeds. You say, ‘I choose the appointed time; it is I who judge with equity”

(Psalm 75:1-2, NIV).

On the precipice between winter and spring, our atmosphere vacillates between frigid and sultry. Deeper uncertainties fog my view as I draw the curtains in my office. Dark clouds recede, exposing the dull hues of our landscape. Promising buds nestle against the bare tree limbs, but cannot yet produce beauty, shade, or fruit. Beside them, the prior year’s pale remains twist in the after-gusts of violent storms. Some of the frail leaves lose hold and descend to the earth. The wind lifts a remnant of the surrendered leaves from the dirt and repositions a few on my second story deck. Others alight on neighboring roofs. Those lingering on the breeze rise into the sunlight and encircle the treetops like resplendent crowns.

My gaze returns to the file trees on my computer screen, which have grown over countless daily hours, year upon year, for nearly two decades. Manuscript documents from previous seasons hang dormant within the folder icons while new projects sprout among them. Most of these digital leaves have yet to produce fruit. I set my fingers on the furrows of the keyboard for another long day of cultivating this orchard of files, yet circumstantial uncertainties and haunting reminders of fruitlessness give me pause.

Shifting marketplace temperatures and turbulent platform growth attempts howl in the atmosphere around me. Circumstances and evidence insist I work in vain. Though I felt led to complete each project, could I have misunderstood my call?

I shift my focus toward the heavens and ask the Lord, “Am I wasting time?”

Chilling discouragements battle warm updrafts of divine promise, creating a whirlwind. My heart twists like a frail leaf on the precipice between giving up and pressing on. On my own strength, I lack the sap to produce anything of value. My brittle stem struggles just to hang on.

The Holy Spirit’s sweet breath whispers, “Let go. Let me.”

He reminds me of my commitment to surrender everything to him. I have no time. No projects. No life of my own over which to concern myself. I dwell within his time. He invites me to share in his work. All my identity and purpose stretch beyond myself and this mortal moment of living into his eternal life and significance.

Surrender to the Lord repositions me—my life, calling, potential, all. His Spirit, the infinite pneuma power that transcends comprehension, can lift me to any placement he chooses. In his perfect way and timing.

The Lord ordains his seasons to teach us spiritual truth. He intentionally designs this wartime between winter’s death and spring’s birth to occur as we approach Holy Week. Those called by the Lord must choose whether to trust him as Savior. Whether to mark our lives as ambassadors of his sacrifice. Whether to follow him toward promises we cannot yet see. And when the evidence and our circumstances discourage us, we must choose whether to believe in the God of Resurrection.

Christ surrendered his life to grant me eternal access to the Father and his Spirit. Under such timeless circumstances, I can no longer consider anything he asks of me wasted. And I can submit my life and calling to the will and way of the Holy Spirit with confident joy and peace.

Lord, I’m so grateful for Christ’s outpouring of eternal life. Thank you for the gracious way you breathe truth into my soul and invite me to share in your work. May your pneuma lift, anoint, and reposition me so I may fulfill your purpose. In Christ’s name, amen.

Award-winning author, speaker, and life coach, Tina hosts the Flourish-Meant podcast a YouTube channel, and the Flourish Today radio show. She serves with Christian Women in Media Association, STRUCK the Series Streaming TV show, and Word Weavers International. To connect with her, visit tinayeager.com.