When I Gave up Writing

When I Gave up Writing

by Christy Bass Adams

 

“So therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple”

(Luke 14:33, ESV).

 

I imagined being an elementary educator for life. The children captured my heart and teaching flowed through my veins. Yet, I held my signed letter of resignation.

 

Why, at the height of my career, would I let this dream go?

 

I knew the answer. Teaching had become my identity and God was leading me to find my worth, purpose, and meaning completely in him. But could I go through with it?

 

After resigning, I prayed. “Father, now I’m yours. Show me who you are and who you say I am.”

 

I spent hours in the Bible each day for the next two months, listening for his direction for my struggling heart. Countless pen strokes filled my bedside journal as I wrote broken prayers to a healing King.

My recorded words connected me to the Master. Dreams of sharing my writing with others wouldn’t subside. I wrestled. Not only did writing feel natural for me, but it provided a cathartic release. When I wrote, my insides danced with life—my soul felt alive. Would God ask for this dream too?

 

After much resistance, I finally bowed. “Father, here I am again. You know how much writing means to me, but the time has come to release it to you. Please take my ability and desire; I lay it all at your feet. If I never write again, I’m willing to walk that road. I want to know you, and you alone. Meet me in this moment.”

 

I heard no audible voice, but a picture and thought filled my mind. I saw a box, wrapped with a bow, handed to me. As I reached to accept the gift, a thought from God entered my mind. This gift is from me. I’m giving it back—simply write for me.

 

A flood of tears fell. He had inspired and granted me my dreams. He created me with specific gifts and talents—he only wanted to me to offer them back and give him the glory.

 

Eventually, doors in both teaching and writing opened. I knew exactly what God needed me to do—to offer my talents to him.

God, I give up. Please use this gift of writing for your glory.

 

 

Christy Bass Adams is the Outreach and Connections Coordinator at Fellowship Baptist Church in Madison, Florida. Weekly she pens an inspirational column in Greene Publishing and her devotions can be found at CBN.com, christiandevotions.us, and inspireafire.com. She is also a wife and mother to two busy boys and loves her dirt road, country life. For more, visit her blog: christybassadams.com.