Not My Own
by Tina Yeager
“His pleasure is not in the strength of the horse, nor his delight in the legs of the warrior; the Lord delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love”
(Psalm 147:10-11, NIV).
I gazed at the ceiling this morning. The pale shade reminded me of those blank spaces remaining where I had hoped to check off accomplishments. I asked the Lord if I had done anything significant during these years of writing, speaking, and training. The ceiling glared back as a reminder of my limited reach.
Sixteen years of writing should have produced more measurable outcomes. Yet I still earned nothing and wondered if my words touched those who needed support. Typing additional lines onto the mountains of unpublished pages that no one may read proved harder each day.
Then I realized how humanistic my logic had become. My concerns and measure of success all centered upon what I could see and believed I had done so far. I stretched my hands before the Lord to reorient my soul. My life, all that is in and comes from it, are not my own.
I am yours, Lord. I am yours.
If my writing, speaking, or any part of my life amounts to anything, that’s up to Jesus. My concern is surrendering to him. And obeying his call every moment, every day. Whether or not I see significance. Even if I never see an income or audience worth measuring. I am not meant to be the significant one, after all. Nor is my work. He alone is significant. The full places and blank spaces are his. Not my own.
Holy Spirit, empty me of my self-focus with all its insecurities, resistance, and doubt. Fill me with more of you, Jesus. Sculpt me into your vessel. Shape me into your image. And present me as one who devotes all I am to you. Amen.
Award-winning author, speaker, licensed counselor, and life coach, Tina encourages audiences to fulfill their potential. She offers writing workshops through Serious Writer Academy, hosts the Flourish-Meant podcast, and is head mentor with Word Weavers International. Beautiful Warrior, her book on women’s esteem is available through New Hope Publishers. To connect with her, visit tinayeager.com.